Rumors

AAAAHHHHHH!!! I’VE BEEN ACCUSED!!! OF WHAT? … keeping a dirty house in the ghetto while being an evil witch who consorts with a demon entity in my home, but it doesn’t end there. Apparently my bestie is a female named Will and my fiance is a closet gay man who keeps a Cerberus in the basement. ***By the way Cerberus was totally me, truth is I own three dogs not a three headed one. Ya know, gotta make the gossip juicy.***

I know rumors are just away for people to not focus on the cracks of their own life mirror since all truths come out eventually and karma will be served ice cold. But sometimes a little birdie blesses one with tea about yourself and you can’t help but laugh at the bullshit when it’s so far out there with a wrong turn.

The crazier part are the people who are actually saying these things about my life, I wonder if they actually believe the shit they say or are they really just pathetic annoying pimples on life’s ass. POP! POP! EWWW, BIT!

Though, part of me is a little sad that I could not fulfill my part in the rumors, simply because of just how awesome it would be.

Now it’s pretty easy for me to imagine smiting salty bitches with magical lightening bolts from hell and making them shit rainbows outta their asses. In fact, some days I wish it would happen, but rolling around the “ghetto” with a demon riding shotgun, a gay fiance sitting in the back with a female named Will, people are putting a lot of faith in my abilities to lead that kind of life. Talk about next level street cred and movie deals.

CREEPER LEECH a Real Shit Stain

Recently, my boyfriend and I let a friend(F) rent a room in our house because of a sudden life situation that arose with a baby momma(BM), whom at the time he was living with. He needed something quick and decided he would move in with us. Yes, unbeknownst to us he made a decision to move into our new home one sunny day. As we are decent people too an extent, we were not about to let a friend be homeless, plus the sob stories about being abused by his BM hit us hard in the feels.

I mean after listening to F speak about his BM, I was fucking mad that such heartless horrible woman existed on this planet and could treat a human being with such disdain. Plus, he told us what she thought about us. At the time I was like really BITCH, your ass don’t even know me and I’m always nice when you come around. Needless to say we were 100 percent on F’s side at this point. We sat down and discussed rent and everything included, rate was lower than what we would normally charge someone due to his situation. We really wanted to help him get on his feet.

Being emotional we both forgot how things went down before with every other lady friend F has dated in the past few years. Which consisted of buttering up a woman, playing the victim all the time, from all angles, and leeching off people. No surprise that these relationships don’t last and F’s knocking on our door looking like a puppy sitting in the rain.

During the sad stories and crocodile tears falling out of F’s face my conscience poked it’s head out just long enough to scream, “Remember the creeper leech of before who put a ass print in your couch, virus on your computer, and fucked up your boyfriend’s score on Call of Duty!!!”

Of course I silenced the nonsense because there was a baby is involved this time and F was feeding us all that good bullshit we needed to hear to help his ass. So we were sure that this time was gonna be different and his big daddy pants would be pulled up so high that an ultimate wedgie only a God could pull out would ensue. (In my best Trump voice) WRONG!!!

We found out pretty fast that F is incapable of adult communication. In fact, just  adulting in general was such a far fetched ideal to him. One part of his weirdness is that he would lurk around the house, kinda like a living ghost but with a weird creepier vibe. For example, you could be washing dishes then feel something behind you, no one is there when you look but then F will suddenly appear next to you when you look back at what you doing. All the while not saying a word making the moment more awkward but F is okay with the awkwardness cause F does not like to be alone.

Moving on from the creep factor, within a month this asshole is complaining, to anyone who will listen, about how people keep taking advantage of him and how living with us is not helping him cause friends should not charge friends rent, the rent was too high, we were mean to him, our dogs bothered him, etc. etc. Keep in mind he refuses to talk to us about the grievances for some reason. Lucky for us friends tell friends about bullshit, so when I heard through the grapevine about the diarrhea coming outta F’s mouth, I was shocked and a little hurt. He, after all, blindsided us with the friendship card for immediate shelter due to hard times that suddenly popped up in his life and was putting his creeper stank all over my home.

So we ended up having a sit down with F to make it very clear that no one was forcing him to live here and that getting his own place was the goal. During the conversation F looked completely lost in the sauce and made it clear he didn’t understand why we charged him rent anyway, because in his mind it cost us nothing for him to live with us. This blew my mind all over the kitchen walls since F wasn’t contributing anything and getting him to paid rent in full and on time was like pulling teeth. Literally everything was provided by us (groceries, toiletries, furniture, etc.) with the exception of his clothes which BM provided. Finally the temporary amnesia had wore off and we knew F was nothing but a victim of his own stupidity and his “hard times” were self-inflicted.

I’ve never done this to my friends who have helped me in the past through my hard times. Grateful and blessed were the feelings I felt to toward those who helped me. I simply could not understand what was going on in F’s mind.

Too make matters worst F was now talking to one of my close girlfriends. Now, as a friend it is important to tell a bitch what she needs to hear and not what a bitch wants to hear. And GODDAMMIT BITCHES were warned about the mine field ahead with the creeper leech!!! I mean a damn zebra can’t change it’s stripes, but you can tell a blind person what the hell is in front of them. Right?

Needless to say F did as F does and fucked up. For starters you don’t fuck with your living situation before another one is secured, but believing his homelessness would open the door and legs of a caring woman other than his BM he threw his supposed best friend (my boyfriend) under the bus for sympathy points with my friend…sadly it worked. Fortunately, the idiot was trying to live a double life, as we later found out, running between BM and my friend for a bed to sleep in and food to eat. Sad but true. The bag of cunts had been lying to and talking shit about everyone for freebies.

Anyway, the moral of all of this is when the little voice inside peeps out and screams “LOOK, IT’S A DUMB ASS CREEPER LEECH!” You need to listen to avoid being used and slandered by an asshole for their own gains, just run for the hills and let that motherfucker starve.

Weather or Not

You know you’re scheduled to go in but when a hurricane/tropical storm named Irma is rolling through, what do you do? Suck it up and do your duty, maybe. Okay no, I prayed kinda hard for a tree to come down or some mild flooding to block my road, you know just enough give you an excuse not go to work without having to really lie about your situation, but not so much everything is fucked up. After all lying is too hard, plus, I do have a little conscience that refuses to be an OG in times like this.

Why the drama? Because I choose to be nurse and nurses are expected to come in and care for people regardless of circumstances.  Should the weather be horrible while at work or the Apocalypse, your pretty ass will stay in the facility to facilitate care to maintain a safe environment for everyone. Nonetheless, super awesome nurse I am not, kinda average human is my speed. While it is an honorable and at times humbling profession my brain/body prefer the safety of my bed, monster detouring blankets, and dogs.

Today though, I got the call that I knew was coming about how the weather will be an issue and to PLEASE come in a early for safety. The reality is nurses just want our relief on time or at least know they are going to show up, so we can get the hell out.

So YES, I hoped for semi-horrible things to happen near my house to prevent my leaving it and I don’t feel bed about it either. Luckily and despite my less than admirable shitty attitude to the world’s weather, the weather really wasn’t all that bad. There was steady rain, even some pretty hard wind but nothing that was really gonna impede my journey to work. So I forced my gloom-n-doom ass outta bed to find all the caffeine in the kitchen to bury my face in it, because you know all nurses’ blood is caffeine. Besides, my RBF doesn’t even budge without at least 2 cups of coffee.  Keys in hand with a bug out bag of goodies, just-in-case, and mad-hatter level of caffeine in all my cups I’m finally looking at my car knowing there is a slim to fuck you chance that it’s broke somehow. Even when I slide into the driver seat I give my baby a pep talk on how it’s okay to be sick today, but she’s a trooper and starts just fine, a little better than fine. I knew a failed car was my last chance to stay and be a hermit in front of the TV. So I must go into the world, slightly unwilling all the way.

It’s official though, the Nurse Gods have blessed me with a path to work and damn it to hell and back, it’s the sweetest traffic I’ve ever experienced during rush hour traffic, even with the rain. Little to no cars, one maybe two semi-trucks on the road I really could not complain or maybe my coffee was finally kicking in.

—————————————————————————————————————————

One last thing, I didn’t just make it on time, my ass was early.  ***Middle finger to the sky***

IMG_20170911_182805_040

 

 

Begone Spirit Bitch

Since moving into our new house we have had a few weird things happen but nothing that could not be wrote off on a house settling. Recently I’ve experienced footsteps from the kitchen to the room I was in while everyone is asleep, once again could be the house settling. The weirdest thing so far that could not be the house settling happened while alone in my home vacuuming the hallway. I thought someone walked up behind me and flicked me, needless to say no one was there. Being a true lady feed up this bullshit I cussed the spirit bitch out with some very unladylike like language. A lot of F!@#% were given this day. Anyway, at this point I’m laughing like an idiot cause who does this, seriously I’m sure my dogs think I’m crazy.

However, it must have worked cause no more weirdness happened for days. Then I took a picture of my dog in my car. I could be crazy but it looks like someone is in my back seat. At first I thought it was my seat but my back seat was down since I was moving boxes all day. I’m officially blaming it on dirty as hell windows but on the other hand at least the bitch is outside and taking a back seat.

Ghostie